I think of the parable of the prodigal son where in essence the younger son is a waster who leaves home and the older son is a good boy. After many wrongdoings, the younger son eventually comes home prepared for trouble, but instead of punishing him, dad celebrates his return because he was lost and is now found. The father holds a feast to celebrate which includes killing a fatted calf reserved for special occasions. (The good-boy son is jealous, but there you go).
How is this relevant?
Rex runs off, he wallows in the stagnant brook, he rolls in fox poo, you shout until you are hoarse but he ignores you to steal a picnickers’ sandwich. He chases a horse and nearly gets kicked; he brings a jogger down. He then gets the scent of a female on heat.
He’s gone. You stand on the spot you last saw him – for hours, but he doesn’t come back. You go home and put notices out everywhere. You offer a reward. He’s all over the social media.
Weeks pass with no sign of your dog. Life may be easier but it’s an unhappy life without Rex, even though you still have your other lovely dog who always comes back when called and never, ever swims in stagnant brooks, rolls in fox poo, nicks sandwiches or runs off after bitches in season
Then, one day many months later, Rex appears on your doorstep, thin, bedraggled and with a nasty wound on his side. He stinks. The Prodigal Dog is home.
You are overjoyed! Out comes the fatted calf (or chicken). Your other dog may be wondering what all the fuss is about but, dogs being dogs, is probably more than happy to be getting some of the feast.
On a simpler note, if people applied the same principle to dogs that come back only after they have first finished what they would prefer to be doing, there may well be fewer lost dogs and dogs killed on roads. How likely is Rex to come back right away if he knows it will result in the lead going back on together with something unpleasant? However annoying he is and however it might feel like rewarding him for ignoring you, I would say the longer he takes him to grace you with his presence, the more he has to be treated like the Prodigal Dog and given the fatted calf treatment or, do you know, he may well find something else he would rather be doing for now than keeping you company.
Before he decides to go on his own adventures like Rex, he needs to have restricted freedom while he learns what ‘coming back when called’ really means. It means ‘drop what you are doing and come right away’ because your human means food, fun and play, always something worth coming back for.