Shades of grey between leadership and giving our dogs autonomy and choice.

Which should it be? Giving our dogs autonomy and choice, or leadership?

Eleven years ago I started to write up some of my case stories (starting at number 815).

Looking back I see little mention of the word ‘choice’. The word I used was ‘Leadership’.

Going through the stories of eleven years ago, find myself cringing at some of the language I used to use. I never realised I had changed so much in my approach over these years.

‘Leadership’

In nearly every story I go on about ‘Leadership’. I believed that being a good ‘Leader’ to our dogs underpinned everything else.

A Leader, by making all the decisions, removes the stress of responsibility from the dog. (There is an underlying implication that leadership means a degree of dominance).

It seemed to work okay. Maybe because indirectly it reduced the dog’s stress levels.

Here are a couple of examples of my wording.

Molly was withdrawn and needed to get her old mojo back. Here is an excerpt:

“This again is a ‘Leadership’ issue. She now needs strong owners to behave like her ‘rock’ and not to over-fuss her. ….. In nearly every aspect of Molly’s life she is making the choices, whether it’s where she sleeps, when she eats. when she comes in. Where and whether they walk and so on. This could be a big pressure upon a child let alone a nervous dog in a human’s environment”.

Here’s the story – I have changed the wording to ‘parenting’ as it now makes me feel so uneasy.

….and, a second story:

I headed this one ‘Being King isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be: “

“For Benson there is a downside to being King in that without leadership he feels exposed and unprotected. He’s easily scared of things like bikes, pushchairs, umbrellas and so on. When mainly men look at him or lean over, approaching directly or entering his personal space, he’s scared. With convincing human leadership he will be much more relaxed. He will be less touchy about his own personal space. Less likely to worry about collecting and possessing trophies. Less jumping up, humping and dominating.

It can be a long job gently and fairly to convince a dog like this to relinquish his responsibilities. To be more relaxed. Trying to do it through domination and force would make things a hundred times worse.”

Oh dear!

Today I believe it’s important for the dog to be given choices. Particularly when the dog is fearful or anxious. Our job is to help him or her to make the ‘right’ choices (in our own eyes of course) – or to think she has choice! Often these really have to be our own choices.

I remember when my children were little. At bedtime I would ask them ‘do you want to walk upstairs or shall I carry you?’. The real question, ‘do you want to go to bed now?’ wasn’t one of the choices!

Questions. Shades of grey.

How much freedom of choice and autonomy should our dogs have?

How much decision-making is a stressful burden?

Should there not be some boundaries put in place by ourselves? A dog living in harmony with his or her humans, living within the rules of the household, surely is going to be a happier dog?

Won’t a dog who doesn’t believe he owns all resources be a happier dog? A dog that can allow people to come and go without jumping all over them be a more relaxed dog? A dog that doesn’t feel he has to ‘sort out’ other dogs on walks a happier dog?

Is a very well-trained dog who is constantly ‘commanded’ and controlled, a happy dog?

Freedom of choice

I’ve found a more recent story with a ‘freedom of choice’ quote that I feel comfortable with today:

Maggie was so scared she wouldn’t go outside. Giving Maggie choice:

“If things don’t improve she (the lady owner) will take things back to the beginning and deal with them one at a time. Harness on. Walking towards the door or maybe garden gate. Walking out and back in. Getting in and out of the car. Walking a few feet down the road in the direction of the nearby field and so on.

Maggie would have choice at every stage. The lady will be able to use food because she will keep Maggie under threshold.” Over threshold, she won’t eat.

No mention of ‘leadership’.

So what should it be? Giving our dogs autonomy and choice – or leadership? There will be many shades of this grey amongst trainers, behaviourists – and owners/guardians.

My knowledge in ‘force-free’ training has come a long way since I began eighteen years ago with case number 1. I’m actually quite relieved I can’t read my case stories from the beginning!

Now my prime underlying goal is reducing stress – from wherever it comes and whatever it takes. But leadership? Yes, where Leader means Protector and, in cases where the dog can’t make the decisions, Decision-Maker.

My case stories: www.dogidog.co.uk/my-case-stories